


A Wonder of Love

by orphan_account



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: M/M, Oral Sex, Really cute and romantic, Self-Discovery, Spoilers, Translation, Wow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 21:03:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10316924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Kiibo spends his first Christmas with a lover.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a translation of 恋と愛のなんとやら on Pixiv.  
> It's not exactly a direct translation but too bad.  
> I hope you like it.

During the spring of my second year of high school, I, the SHSL Robot, Kiibo, got a lover.  
To be more precise, a boyfriend.

"Could you please do romance with me?"  
It really was a very ambiguous and unattractive confession, I think. But at the time it was the best I could do. It was a saying of love of the highest grade.

I don't know love.  
Or, perhaps it's better to say that I don't understand it rather than I don't know.  
I've never fallen in love.  
Although I'm a robot, I have the same spirit as a healthy high school boy, and I longed to feel the thing called love.  
"I want to fall in love. I want to touch the love that people speak of so highly."  
That's why I asked.  
"I want you to do romance with me."  
And though I considered having a relationship only in name to be something impure, I really looked forward to the future. I honestly wanted him to teach me romance.

But when Saihara heard he was very surprised.  
"Isn't it impure to be in a relationship with someone you don't like?"  
"Surely so," I agreed.  
But I still thought it was good. After all, as long as I was in love with him, it would be fine.

When I told him my feelings he had a troubled face.  
But then he laughed. "Well, if you'll accept me, I'll cooperate." We held hands warmly.  
It calmed my mind.  
I was very happy.  
I think I would've cried if I had a function to shed tears.

From that day on, Saihara and I became something like lovers.  
But, even so, I've never told him my love.  
Because Saihara says that saying love without feelings is impure.  
While I could tell him that I loved him, would he say the same to me? When would that be?  
That was a question I couldn't ask him.

Since the start of our relationship, more than seven months have passed. More than half a year gone before I even realized it.  
Time flies in the blink of an eye.

I had just seen a magic show with all my classmates on Christmas Eve, yesterday, but the world is already preparing for the New Year.  
Although there's still a week until New Year's Eve, life has been hectic and hurried.

It's cold when I leave the lab I go to regularly for maintenance.  
I walk shoulder to shoulder with people huddled down against it.  
Although I know the temperature, unlike people, I don't feel it in my skin.  
My sensors measure the numerical value of the temperature and send the information to my AI.  
It then tells me what a human would sense.  
So, rather than saying that I felt cold, I just understood the cold.

Watching the passerby breathe out white, I casually try to blow hot air out my mouth.  
Of course the dry air doesn't turn white.  
I don't know why, but I wanted to see him.

My heavy footsteps leave echoes that gradually go faster.  
On the way I stop in a convenience store and buy a Chinese pork bun packed with a label proclaiming, 'Japanese-style'. The store clerk looked at me dubiously, probably questioning why a robot would buy food.  
If this was a usual day I would surely be angry about robot discrimination.  
But today I ignored it with only a small feeling of indignation.

After walking a few more minutes I see the building I want.  
It's a student dormitory at Hope's Peak Academy.  
There's a lot of them nearby, but this one specifically is a renovated apartment, the smallest of the dorms here.  
The exterior is old-fashioned, and there's only eight rooms. It's popular with students since the rent is cheap.  
For me, it's a place to go to recharge, a place to study when I'm not in school.  
Since I don't want to be a burden on Dr. Iidabashi, I was really glad I managed to rent such a cheap place.

My room is in the back of the second floor, up the stairs outdoors.  
But today's destination is on the first floor.  
It's the very first room as soon as I enter the dormitory.

I press on the doorbell.  
Ding-dong. The sound echoes down the other side of the door.  
While trying to find a way to keep in sight of the door scope but not get in the way of the door opening, a light sound on the floor approaches.

The door opens almost at the same time as it's unlocked, and Saihara sticks out his head.  
"Welcome, Kiibo."  
He has a slightly tired face. While he's usually almost overdressed in his school uniform, now his white shirt has two buttons undone and he's in a blue short coat that gives off an impression far from the ideal image of a detective.  
He's barefoot.

Saihara has the sort of personality who would be careful to show courtesies even to friends, but recently he seems to be able to show this unbelievable aspect to me.  
Some people dislike these changes of lovers, but, every time I get to see his so-called "off", it makes me happy without even trying.  
"Hello. Sorry to bother you."

Walking past the thin entrance door and down a wooden corridor, I can see a Japanese-style room with 8 tatami mats.  
From the entrance behind a wooden glass sliding door there is a small bathroom wth a toilet.  
Although I haven't been around to actually look at it, I know it's there because our floor plans are the same.  
Even so, since I don't eat and drink, I have never used them.

"Sorry, it's messy. I was planning to clean it, but I had a request this morning."  
Although he says that it's messy, Saihara's room has few things.  
One simple white mug on top of a kotatsu that could barely hold two people.  
In one corner, a futon folded into thirds. Saihara's favorite hat sits on top.  
In the other corner a bookshelf that reaches about the height of Saihara's knee.  
Several of his favorite mystery novels have been taken out of it and thrown about the floor.  
And the TV stand is next to the window, with a small LCD TV on top.  
There's a low-profile refrigerator next to a thin cooking table that looks like it was forcibly stuffed into the space left in the room.  
The gas stove has the conspicuous feeling of disuse, with only one small kettle placed on top.  
Saihara urges me to sit while he goes to return the scattered books to the bookshelf.  
As I sit, Saihara, having finished the work, enters the kotatsu across from me.  
At the same time I pass the convenience store bag with a "Please," and he laughs. "And always thank you."  
At first he refrained from accepting these souvenirs, but, he's seemed to have given up since, every time I visit, I would always bring food.

"What was the incident?"  
"A child in the preliminary department asked me to find a pet cat. I found it at once, but it was hard to catch."  
It seems that, being a SHSL Detective, these sorts of requests often got to him.  
There is actually another person in the school with the same talent, but she said her expertise lay with murder cases.  
In addition, it also feels like that she wouldn't be happy to receive requests like searching for pets.  
Of course, she wouldn't refuse if asked, but Saihara seemed better to depend on for those sorts of things.

"Kiibo, you went to Iruma's after yesterday's magic show, right?"  
"Yes, this time it wasn't only for maintenance but also remodeling."  
"Remodeling... like the time she added the massage function?"  
As Saihara asks he starts to unwrap the steamed buns from their paper.  
I can't help but smile from excitement. I'd been waiting to tell him.  
"Yes, but this time it's even more amazing! I got the function to shed tears!"  
"Wow... that's really good, you've been wanting that for a long time."  
"Yeah! With this I can have tears flowing like a cartoon, I can even cry when I cut onions!"  
While that might be impossible since I'm a robot, Saihara still laughs and once again says, "That's good."

"But there's one more thing... Iruma said she added more special features, but, no matter how much I asked she would not tell me what it is... no, it's disturbing..."  
Without hiding his anxiety, Saihara also had a vague face.  
That's Iruma for you. Her skill as an inventor is first grade. But her words and deeds butcher the value of her goods. It can be said even among the exceptional students of Hope's Peak, her personality and individualistic nature still stand out.  
When she says "special function", I cannot imagine what it is, but I only have a bad feeling.  
"Well, Iruma wouldn't add anything that's harmful to you, right?"  
"That's right..."

While watching me still groaning, Saihara says, "I'm going to eat." He takes a big bite out of the bun. Despite the soft crust of the surface, it's difficult to eat. Hot bean paste fills his mouth and burns his tongue mercilessly.  
"Saihara?" I incline my head. Saihara's holding his mouth.  
"Was it delicious?"  
"...OK, it's alright, it's delicious."  
Saihara laughs while his watering eyes reveal his deception.  
This time he blows on the bun heavily, and when he eats it, it's with small, careful bites.  
"Is that so?"  
As I say it, I stare.

Recently I've noticed that I love to watch when he eats.

I can't eat or drink but I can feel that something must be delicious just by looking at it.  
So, until now, when I saw people eating happily, I felt a little irritated.  
And then I realized, Saihara can eat the things that I think are delicious.  
While I can't eat myself, he's not a stranger to me. If my lover eats it, the feeling might be fine.  
And that's how our relationship went. From the very beginning, I took on the act of feeding Saihara.  
Since I can't eat or drink, Saihara was obviously embarrassed, thinking it must be painful for me to watch.  
But I was serious.  
"I want you to eat it."  
And in the end he broke down and accepts it as usual.

As a result, even though it didn't necessarily make me happy, I made another new discovery.  
The way he opens his mouth, the flash of white teeth, his red tongue. The way his lips envelop the food, how he chews, and the way his throat moves as he swallows.  
I think I want to watch all that movement forever.  
Then, if he says it was "delicious", I could feel satisfied somewhere.  
I don't know with certainty what kind of feeling this is in human beings.  
Although it might be rude to Saihara, I think it might be close to the feeling of petting pet animals.

After a few minutes, Saihara swallows the last piece of the steamed bun and breathes out heavily.  
Watching until the last piece passed through his throat, I finally pull back my shoulders.  
Since I realized the feeling of seeing that sight is "love", for some reason I feel nervous.  
I'm just watching him eat, but it makes me feel like I'm watching something I should not look at.  
Pulling myself out of my thoughts, Saihara is checking the mug, tilting it forward on the kotatsu.  
"I'm sorry, I'm going to go get a drink."  
"Oh, yes, go ahead."  
After the exchange Saihara moves a few steps off to the kitchen.

Watching Saihara's back as he casually looks through the refrigerator, I notice a sense of discomfort in my body.  
Although I'm covered by the thick kotatsu futon, there's something in between my feet. In a slightly open seiza, in the vicinity of my thighs, something is touching.  
While staring, I gently lift the futon.

Between my legs.  
To be precise, the crotch.  
In my crotch, something unfamiliar and black is growing up.  
"Hiiiiiii!"  
"What?"  
I screamed unexpectedly, and Saihara looked back.  
"What's wrong?"  
"Um, no, I seem to have the hiccups!"  
"Even though you're a robot...?"  
"Just because I'm a robot it doesn't necessarily mean that I don't get the hiccups! That is robot discrimination!"  
"Oh, yes... ... ... that's right, sorry."  
Saihara has an amazed face, but I turn my back on him. I felt miserable, putting a hand to my chest.  
Although I didn't mean to mislead him, I did, and now that fact was caught in my heart for me to know forever.

Again, I looked under the futon.  
It hadn't been a mistake.  
Unfamiliar external parts are growing up in my crotch after all.  
I say "unfamiliar", but I've seen this form in a book before.  
The color is the same black as my armor, but, no matter how you look at it, it's mens' genitals.  
And, obviously, I have an erection.  
I've never had this before coming to this room. It would've been a big problem.

I quickly pull out my cell phone from the storage space in my chest.  
Already it was blowing out of my head that Saihara was in the same small space between the eight tatami mats; the only thing that occupied my thoughts was the "special function" that Iruma had mentioned.  
Since my fingers don't affect the touch panel on a smartphone, I open a fairly old-fashioned push-button folding mobile phone.  
Without hesitation I choose Iruma's name from my history.  
After 10 or so rings, she comes out with a loud noise and rattling.  
"What!? I'm busy..."  
"What do you mean, Iruma!"  
I shout before she can say more.  
"Wow... what is it... don't be so loud..."  
"Please answer me! What is it!"  
Meaning the thing I'm hiding under the futon.  
Even if I know that it won't be transmitted to the phone, I point at it with my fingers.  
"Ah? Oh, maybe the special feature? How is it? It's the best possible! The color matches you, but the feeling is genuine! It also has a sense and can ejaculate properly. Well, it can't make a child since it's quasi-semen, but it's a beauty formula ingredient so you can cum inside!"

My fingers tighten and the phone makes a bad sound.  
While it won't break since my strength is equivalent to an old man, it seems to reach Iruma. She was puzzled to finally know my anger.

"Well, what? Are you angry...? Of course, you can drink it and it's safe to get in your eyes... maybe I set it to take too long? Well, it's hard to say, but I didn't want to have you be ashamed for your first experience..."  
"...no, it's okay, anyway, how can I turn this off?" I sighed. There is no point in shouting. Listening to Iruma made it feel like my head was going to short.

"Huh? I guess it'd be fine if I take out what I give out. But it's your first Christmas with a lover! No matter how much I am the best, most beautiful woman in the history of the world, should you really be calling me and leaving your lover alone?! Hurry up and get 'em!"

Christmas with a lover.  
I ruminate on the words.  
Immediately after I had gotten into a relationship with Saihara, I'd been so happy, I had told Iruma I had gotten a lover. Of course, I hadn't mentioned Saihara's name, but, more importantly than that, I had told Iruma.  
My first lover. I was really happy. I wasn't thinking straight.  
Other than Saihara, the only other close friend I had was Iruma.  
So she's attached such a ridiculous thing to me because I would surely spend Christmas with my lover.

I scratched my head forcefully while cursing my past self.  
"... is there nothing like an emergency stop button?"  
"A dick doesn't do emergency stops? It isn't a machine."  
She answered in an extremely serious voice and I closed my eyes.  
I am a machine, though.  
I was about to say it. I lost my normal spirit and I was about to discriminate against robots.

"Well, usually, if left alone for awhile erections subside—"  
"In that case—"  
"—it's really something to worry about when it comes to insertion, so I didn't add that function!"  
While laughing, she added, "No need to thank me for my kindness!" She said it absolutely earnestly.  
How could she switch things in such a completely different direction? I held my head.

"I understand. So please come and take it away. I can't go outside like this."  
"What! What?! Even though it was so much trouble... besides, aren't you with a girlfriend?!"  
"I do not do that sort of thing... besides! Anyway! It's honestly annoying to have such a suddenly self-starting feature!"  
"Suddenly? The function should only start when you think it's okay!"  
"What?" I reflexively raise my voice. After a little while, I ask again in a trembling voice.

"The special function will only start when your AI feels sexual excitement!"

This time I'm completely lost for words.  
It's stupid but I can't refute it.  
I felt like I was forced to uncover parts of myself I did not want to see.  
I guess it could be said to be a "lucky guess".  
I'm sweating like mad, vision swimming, and I meet eyes with Saihara.  
I disconnect the call reflexively, but it's too late.  
Since Iruma is very loud, he may have heard part of the conversation.  
He's watching me with a troubled face.  
It overlaps with his appearance seven months ago, when I had confessed to him.  
There's no mug in his hand.

"Kiibo, that—"  
Saihara's cheeks are dyed red. With downcast eyes, he exhales to relieve the tension.  
"...you should talk to me properly."

About what, I did not ask. I felt my throat tremble painfully, even though I had no breath to drink.

I told him about the contents of my conversation with Iruma. Even with saying that I couldn't understand her story well, so I could only tell him what I understood. Being attached with genitalia. That I had to ejaculate to stop the function.  
I also told him the reason why Iruma attached it in the first place and apologized.

"Lover..."  
Saihara instantly blushed and my eyes shook and blurred.  
"Sorry, I selfishly said I had a lover..."  
"...no, it's okay, because I said I wanted the future to be that way."  
"But... we haven't done anything yet that makes us seem like lovers?"  
We go back and forth between our rooms in the dormitory and occasionally stay in each other's rooms. That would be a matter of course even among good friends.  
Things that could proudly said to be for lovers, nowhere.

"...well then, do you?"  
"What?"  
Saihara moves from across the kotatsu, across the tatami under the futon, until his knees are next to mine.  
Normally his eyes are settled on a calm light color, but now they reflect mine fraught with heat.  
"That seems like something for lovers."  
Before I can say anything, Saihara's hands have stroked my thighs from the top of the futon.  
"No good?"  
No good. I think I should say so. This is an impure thing that I don't want to do here. I thought I should say so. But.  
"Is it okay?"  
He says it in such a terribly pitiful voice.  
I put my hand in his.

-

He spreads open the futon, stamping down the sheets that surge up. I sit on the futon, my back against the rough sand wall, my knees up.  
I'm dazed by by the sight of Saihara pulling off his coat overhead, taking off his pants. His face is bright red in only his shirt and underwear, but I don't see hesitation or doubt in his eyes.

I've never touched it myself, this part that hadn't existed until now in the first place, and now it's being touched by the hands of others.  
His white fingers are entangled up in black genitals that look just like a toy, but, as he rubs up it a few times to explore, a transparent liquid begins to ooze out from the tip.  
"...it gets wet properly..."  
While pouring a hot gaze into it, Saihara says it as if he fell in love.  
Although I was impressed with Iruma's technique, my head is filled with shame. I felt that it was disgraceful to be wet like this.

"Kiibo, does it feel good?"  
It's rubbed against a warm palm, moving from top to bottom. It's like a weak current is running through my spine, trembling my feet.  
"...y-yes, probably..."  
"Probably?"  
"Aah... I'm sorry... sexual pleasure... for the first time, well... w-well... I don't understand..."  
Even while Saihara's reflectively listening, he seems unable to stop rubbing.  
He would have noticed that my voice is disturbed. It's not like me, something with a bad temper.  
I glare at him, but he's gone back to staring in a state that doesn't hide his excitement.  
I thought the way he looked, his feverish eyes fringed with long eyelashes, narrowed, was very poisonous to the eyes.

"How are you feeling...?"  
"Yes... this is probably, I think, it's sexual pleasure, I think..."  
Stroking the body with one hand, he brushes across the glans with the other. Each time the liquid overflows and wets both his hands and my armor.  
Even though it seems like it is just attached to my lower body, it's definitely growing out of it.  
An unknown feeling overflows within me and I clutch at the sheets.

"...Saihara?"  
His head is lowered.  
I wonder and I call his name, but he doesn't answer.  
As he brings his lips nearer the black shape in his hand, "Wait, hey... that...!"  
His red tongue shoots out and I can see it lick the tip, catch on the underside.  
He strokes me, rolls it with his tongue, and when he traces the back with the base of his thumb, I felt the light scatter at the back of my eyes.  
"Please wait, wait! ... ... no, n-no, Saihara...!"  
His head goes further down; his expression can't be seen.  
He sighs exhilaratedly, painfully. He sucks deeply, many times, repeatedly rubbing into the inside of his cheek.

The waist trembles. In Saihara's mouth, such an familiar thing is being swallowed.  
I suddenly remember the way I've always watched him eat. A small mouth opening, taking in the food, lips closing and a throat moving up and down. Wiping the crumbs off your lips with your fingers. That gesture should be something ridiculous, but I remember I could not tear my eyes away.  
Saihara's fingers, lips, tongue, mouth, all trying to caress my weakest place, trying to draw out pleasure. The thought makes me feel so excited, it's like something's trying to spring up in the back of my chest.

At the same time I'm disappointed in myself for having such perverse ideas. I've been looking at him all the time with such eyes, but, if I had never been given this function, I may have never noticed.  
I wanted to drop my head to the floor in shame.

"Sai...hara..."  
I want to disappear into apologies.  
Yet, this feeling...  
I didn't want to lose this feeling growing up inside me. I stroked Saihara's hair as his head went up and down between my legs.  
"Mmm..."  
While he sucked at me, he turned his face up towards me. With a blocked mouth, his reply came out in a nodding voice.  
His mouth is wet with saliva and the liquid flowing from me, dripping down his chin and leaving spots on the sheets. At the moment when our eyes meet, breathless and excited, I thought that it was already useless.  
With the sound of wet cherry blossom lips, something is wrong, something rises up in my body with a huge shock.  
"...a-ahh... ahh!"  
Something has come out of my body.  
Even with my closed-off view, I can tell.  
Electric light plays inside and out me, running through me from my toes to the top of my head.  
With a stretched hand, I grab Saihara's head and press it against my lower body.  
"A-ah... oh..."  
The hips shake against my stiffened body. The thighs tremble with a lingering finish.

Ejaculation. Orgasm.  
I imagined such words with a rapid awkwardness.  
While I leave myself on the wall, Saihara's head escapes, loosened from restraint. Released, he's coughing violently.  
As soon as I notice, "S-sorry Saihara...! I, that, I just...!"  
"Yeah... that's why... so..."  
From between the gap of his hand pressed against his mouth, a thick white liquid spills out.  
Not able to breathe normally yet, Saihara squints to look at my crotch.  
"...it's still up..."  
"What?! Iruma surely...!"  
As Saihara says, I can see clearly that the protrusion remained there, unchanged.

I pull out my phone again to question Iruma, but Saihara spots it and gently pulls it away from me, putting it out of my reach in the corner of the futon.  
"Wait a minute... Saihara?"  
"Maybe it will stop if we take it all the way."  
"What?"  
Saihara lowers his underwear.  
Surprise overtakes me and I can't respond. All I can do is stare.  
"W-what are you doing...!"  
"It's okay. It won't hurt."  
Stripped of his underwear, he spreads the sticky white liquid between his fingers and stretches his hand out behind him.  
With a nervous look, he breathes out tensely, with stiff shoulders, and rubs his cheek against my leg.

"A-ah... oh..."  
A wet sound echoes from Saihara's back. From his desperately closed lips, a pale voice sounds, like a cry.  
I don't know what Saihara's doing.  
I don't know but I felt that it was something wrong.  
But while I think so, I don't move.  
I'm embarrassed by the effect that voice has on me.  
As I remain still, Saihara reaches out his free hand and strokes me again.  
"I'm sorry... please wait a bit."  
His sweet eyes look up at me and he smiles.  
Liquid flows from the stroked tip, and Saihara looks at it dreamily.

"Ha, that's good..."  
Saihara curls up over me, straddling my waist. His erect penis nears my face and I swallow thickly. He's as excited as me; my heart strengthens at that fact.  
However at the same time I feel a strange irritation growing about whether or not this was all really okay.  
Saihara grabs me to hold it steady as he slowly lowers his hips, bends his knees.  
At the moment when the tip touches him and was about to be swallowed, I stop him. I grab his arm as if I had been repelled.  
"Eh?"  
Saihara blinks.

"It's no good, let's stop it."  
I say it flatly.  
I shift his body with almost no resistance and sit him on my thigh.  
"...do you not want to do this kind of thing with me?"  
"No... honestly, I really want to."  
I had reflexively stopped, but I had slowly come to understood what Saihara had wanted to do earlier.  
I hadn't known that, even between men, there was an act similar to that of men and women.  
Honestly, I thought I wanted to be swept away.  
"Well,"  
"But, I can't do that. It was really bad of me to let this get so far... but I can't let myself cross this line with such ambiguous feelings."

Saihara, with gathered eyebrows, sadly answers. "...I see."  
I don't think this decision is a mistake.  
I surely would have regretted it badly if I had continued.  
Even so, I still didn't want to have to see him looking like this.  
It would have been better if I had refused from the beginning. It was the worst of me to take this invitation only to refuse at the end.  
Either way, only regret remained in my heart.

"Kiibo."  
Saihara gently drops his head on my shoulder.  
"I've really wanted to do something like this with you forever."  
"Huh?"  
Lifting his head, his face is sad, agonized, almost, but still, he was smiling. He laughs.  
"...ever since you asked me to do romance with you, I liked you."  
Saihara, much taller than me, rounds his body and rubs his face against my neck much like a cat. Wiping his hands off on a shirt, he then places them over mine.  
"From the time I first felt the warmth of your hands, I liked you very much. I wanted to touch you more, I thought."  
He inhales deeply and when he breathes out it's exaggerated, defeated.  
"I knew you couldn't do that. But I still wanted you to like me... I was patient, but I couldn't endure it when I saw you today."  
I don't know what to answer to his embarrassed laugh. While trying to think of something, more words come out in his sad and gentle voice.  
"I love... I love you, Kiibo. I'm sorry."  
"I'm sorry that I can't love you properly," Saihara whispers. It comes out in a damp voice that seemed like it would cry soon.

On pure impulse, I open my mouth and grab Saihara's narrow shoulder.  
"...Kiibo?"  
But I still can't say any words. Our eyes meet, but all I can do is start to sob feebly.  
"K-Kiibo?"  
Tears fall out of my tattered blue eyes. Even as Saihara calls out, confused, they slide down my cheek, over and over, not knowing how to stop.  
"Please, I'm sorry. Kiibo, I'm sorry... don't cry..."  
I wipe away my tears but with such a small force I can't stop it, and the waves come even larger.  
"Kiibo..."  
"...I still don't know love."  
My voice is drowning in tears.  
"I don't know love, I just don't know, I don't know how to answer your feelings."  
I grasp his hands with a strong force. My emotions overflow with tears.  
"...but... I'm happy, your words make me happy, so I want to answer that I like you... that this isn't sympathy, that I feel like you, I want to say I feel the same way you do."  
"...yeah."  
"This... is it possible to call it love?"  
Saihara doesn't answer. It's not a question for him, after all, it's a question for me, myself.  
"...so, Saihara."  
I wipe away the tears violently but they still can't be wiped clean. My cheeks remain drenched.  
"Please, be my lover."  
Saihara's eyes open. This isn't 'please do romance with me'. It is clear, a confession of love.  
"...okay?"  
"Yes. I want you to be my lover and I want you to tell me the name of this feeling, if Saihara will take me."  
"But don't you already know?"  
"I don't know, I want confirmation."  
"What... you're putting me on the spot here..."  
"That... really, I'm sorry."  
"...okay."  
Saihara strokes my wet cheeks.  
"Kiibo, be my lover."  
Another grain of tears fall from my eyes.

When people kiss you hear stories of pleasure from the brain, psychological diagnosis of compatibility from saliva and so on and so forth.  
But things like that don't matter to me. The act of kissing is just touching deeply.  
The first touch of our lips are soft and warm and felt much closer than holding hands. It felt very pleasant and I was happy.  
But my mouth is dry. It's only a collection of parts that imitate the appearance of a human being's.  
So from Saihara's experience, it might just be like being enclosed with something cold.  
Thinking that, something in my chest disturbs. I want him to enjoy the same euphoria as I am.

"Kiibo..."  
Turning away his flushed face, Saihara speaks.  
"Let's do it again."  
I pull him forward and we kiss again.  
He seems to be contrite now, agonizing over his prior aggression.  
"Am I being too forward, Kiibo?"  
But he says it reluctantly.

"...really, is it okay?"  
"Yes, I've decided my resolution."  
I was going to seriously answer, but Saihara laughed again. He likely found it funny.  
"You won't die, so you don't have to worry about it."  
"It's important to me, so I will face you seriously."  
"What do you mean?"  
"I'm prepared to swear with my future."  
When he laughs again, I frown as hard as possible.  
"It's not a laughing matter. It's necessary to connect a physical relationship. Everything else would be impure, it would be shameless."  
"Yeah... that's right, yes."  
"Are you making fun of me?"  
"No. I... I was thinking it was good to fall in love with you."  
I felt the heat gather in my face. I don't remember saying anything to be worth a response like that.

"I must thank Iruma,"  
"...but it's almost a mixed blessing."  
"Don't you think you should be at least a little grateful?"  
"Well, well... a little... but there are problems with the settings."  
While I'm thinking we will have to review it more thoroughly tomorrow, I haven't even noticed I'm no longer planning to remove it.

"Kiibo," he calls, caressing me on the cheeks. It draws us into another kiss.  
"Touch me...?"  
Saihara rolls onto the futon, and leads my hands to his knees.

And that day led into night for us, together.


End file.
